While not an outcome most of us want to
consider when getting married, divorce is a common occurrence today.
There are 1.4 million divorces in the United States each year. Nearly
50% of all first marriages end in divorce, while 60% of second marriages
do. The good news is that there are more alternative methods to reach a
settlement today than ever before.
Pro Se - Representing yourself
If you do not retain an attorney to represent you in Court, it is called Pro Se. Many people
choose this option, but may still consult with an attorney, CDFA, CPA,
divorce coach or other professional on particular aspects. See our
benefits page for information on how a CDFA
can be helpful. Also, those who do not hire an attorney often will use a
mediator to help them and their spouse come to an agreement which they
can then file with the Court.
Traditional Litigation - Retaining an
Attorney to Represent You
If you retain an attorney to represent you to your spouse and in Court, he/she will assist you throughout the
process. If you are not able to settle, then a judge or magistrate
will decide the issues of your case base on the facts and their
interpretation of how the law applies to the facts as they are
presented. Litigation is an adversarial process that typically
increases the amount of conflict between spouses. You or your attorney may still want or need assistance from
a CDFA, CPA, CFI, Business Valuer, or other professionals. See our page
on litigation support.
Mediation
A neutral person facilitates discussions between you and your spouse to
help you reach agreement using "interest based" negotiations. You may be
represented by an attorney during the mediation process. If you
cannot agree on one or more issues, then you may need to go to Court to have
the Judge decide. For more information about mediation, see our
mediation page.
Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative divorce is a non-adversarial approach which allows you to retain
attorneys, but you each agree with your respective attorney that if your
negotiations with your spouse break down, that your attorneys will not
represent you in court. This simple agreement frees your attorneys
from preparing for a possible Court hearing and allows them to work with
you and your spouse and their attorney to reach agreements that are in
the best of interest of both of you and your children. Jointly
appointed financial specialists are often used to assist with
financial analysis and mediation of the financial issues. See our
page on collaborative divorce and the
collaborative web sites on our links page for
more information. For many
situations, it is best to try non-adversarial processes (such as
mediation) before retaining attorneys and going in to an adversarial
process. However, if there is complete lack of trust, refusal to
fully disclose financial information, or a desire to punish the other
through the legal process, then litigation will probably be your choice.
Choosing an Attorney
In the family law world, some say that attorneys are either problem
solvers and conflict creators. To find out how to choose your
attorney, listen to this
audio, or read the
article, both by Mark Baer, Esq, a family law attorney in
California. |
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