Divorce Options

While not an outcome most of us want to consider when getting married, divorce is a common occurrence today.  There are 1.4 million divorces in the United States each year.  Nearly 50% of all first marriages end in divorce, while 60% of second marriages do.  The good news is that there are more alternative methods to reach a settlement today than ever before. 

Pro Se - Representing yourself

• An attorney is not retained, but often is consulted on legal issues

• Parties communicate with one another

• Divorce is a matter of public record

• Must negotiate own separation agreement, complete all required forms with the Court or hire an attorney's paralegal service

• Must appear in Court if minor children are involved

• Can use CPAs or Divorce Financial Analysts to help with arriving at equitable financial settlement

Traditional Litigation -

• Each party is represented by an attorney

• Court dockets can determine the expediency of the divorce, unless you agree to a private judge or arbitration

• Divorce is typically a matter of public record

• Can be costly because attorneys need to prepare your case for appearing in court. may need to hire expert witnesses or consultants, such as CPAs, child and family specialists, etc.

• Litigation attorneys often use an adversarial approach, and often try to settle the case so that the judge does not have to decide

• A Judge may decide the fate of your family's future

• Each party can use external experts, such as CPAs or CDFAs, to analyze financial situation

• Most cases settle before they get to Court

Mediation (or other alternative dispute resolution models) -

• A neutral person facilitates an agreement between the parties using "interest based" negotiations

• Mediators not allowed to give legal advice

• Mediator may or may not draft your separation agreement for you

• Settlement is based on clients' sense of fairness

• Should have an attorney review any agreement before it is signed and filed with Court

• May be represented by attorney during the mediation process

• If parties cannot agree, then may need to go to Court to have Judge decide

• For more information about mediation, see our mediation page.

Collaborative Divorce -

• A comprehensive team approach where parties settle the divorce without Court

• Each party has an attorney, who works in collaboration with the other attorney to arrive at a settlement which is in the best interest of both parties

• Often each party will have a coach who helps with the emotional, behavioral and communication issues which arrive during the divorce process, as well as in preparation for the restructured family

• A financial advisor is usually used to help educate about financial matters and analyze financial information

• This conflict resolution approach relies on an atmosphere of honesty, cooperation, integrity and professionalism geared toward the immediate and future well-being of the family

• Full and fair disclosure by all parties

• Divorce is not on public record until all papers are filed

• The parties themselves decide the fate of the family's future, not a judge

• If either party decides to go to court, then the attorneys and specialist advisors must withdraw from the case.

• For more information on Collaborative Divorce, see our links page.

Regardless of the method you find most suitable for your situation, adding a divorce financial advisor to your team will certainly give you peace of mind that you have looked at all the financial angles of your divorce.  You will know that you have made informed decisions relative to all the complex issues.